hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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