how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
