They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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