is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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