I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
