Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize