New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize