I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
