I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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