I bet he comes in French.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
