i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
