Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
This is my gift to your gina
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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