I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
