What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
