this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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