good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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