Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
