Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
