I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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