One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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