Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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