is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I had to cum in my sink.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize