My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
