three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
