Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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