ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
