Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize