2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
this will be a night to untag.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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