I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
