Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
