If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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