"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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