**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
