Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
