Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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