ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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