I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just found a bag of teeth...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
