am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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