There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
