He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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