went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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