Kiss
Puke
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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