You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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