Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
