Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
