ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
