I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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