you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
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