Just fell off a train. Bad.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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