remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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