My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
