If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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