And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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