If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
