so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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