Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
