last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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