holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
