the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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