My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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