You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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