His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
