You just made me feel so damn special
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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