It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
