I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It's just like the Real World with babies
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
