jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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