i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
