why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize